people are complicated. i loved my grandpa until he died, have lots of good memories, but learning many years later that he was an abusive father really brought out the Reading is my favorite sport vintage shirt of the few times he yelled at me and apologized later. Clearly he was better at being a grandpa. That history is none of my business, and my mom never talks much about her childhood. But the fact is, who he was and who he became weren’t the same person, so i could 100% understand a very sweet and nice person in a home now not getting visitors because their family didn’t have a good time in the past.