ated on me. There was no accountability what so ever. He is an expert at I May Use Sarcasm Periodically shirt. I forked out a lot of money to have his stuff moved out, I had to tie up all his loose ends and at this point, in a monetary sense, I lost my home and all my savings. I had also lost on a psychological level, my sense of self. My identity was tied into being his girlfriend, he made it so that my life revolved entirely around him, and I thought that’s what loving girlfriends did. I also lost my confidence, my trust, my ability to make decisions and trust my judgment. It was a hard few weeks. And just when I was feeling hopeful that this too shall pass, Covid hit- and my country was locked down for nearly a year. I turned to the bottle and drank myself stupid morning till night, but only for a week. I couldn’t let my feelings out at the gym anymore, and because he had isolated me for years, I had no friends and lost contact with others- I had no one but myself. But slowly, I began to feel a deep rage, and I rebelled against everything negative I’d ever thought about myself. I poured the liquor down the sink. I started doing a boot camp where i would wake up at 6am every day, cold showers, runs twice a day, backyard exercise, reading 100 pages a day, healthy eating, learning a language, just to proove to myself that I am capable of doing hard things. He never knew what i was truly capable of.
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